How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
