it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
