If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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