Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
