You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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