I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
