I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
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