You can't motorboat a personality
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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