he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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