Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Your cock deserves a montage
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
