5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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