It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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