just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
