I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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