is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
two words: eviction party
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
