Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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