Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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