...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
