Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
