Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
