If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
