I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Life is so much better after having sex.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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