She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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