My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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