He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
