you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
