U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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