She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize