Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize