I heard we made out
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
