Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
