but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
