I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
