Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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