So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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