she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize