i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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