I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
