my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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