Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
