I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
