I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
