please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
