It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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