i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
