last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
