just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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