Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
