I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
