oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
