My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
