There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
