He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize