Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i have two assholes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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