omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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