Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
