I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
