Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
