wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
